Umans of Uber

China was a pretty, nineteen-year-old blonde in shorts and a Batman T-shirt. She had to go from the Oceanfront all the way to Hampton. The GPS said it would be a thirty-eight minute drive. Fortunately, China is exactly the kind of person you want for a long Uber ride. She dropped her skateboard in the back… Continue reading Vote for China

Maybe it’s ironic that the very day I posted about the most obnoxious drunk I’ve ever driven I get another patience-testing ride with a drunken sailor. I picked them up at Hot Tuna close to closing time. Two navy boys–call them Ernie and Bert–and Ernie’s girlfriend. Bert sat up front and the girl sat in… Continue reading The Brawler

I don’t mind drunk people. Usually. I’m happy to take them home safely. Uber is an excellent resource for people to protect themselves and others when they are planning to have a good time at the bars. In fact, in all my Uber adventures, I’ve had only one really bad experience with a drunk. I… Continue reading Obnoxious

When I head off to pick up a new passenger, I like to guess what they will look like based on their name (Drivers see a first name in the Uber app). I’m usually wrong. But I couldn’t have been more off-base with Ace. What would you expect an Ace to look like? I pictured… Continue reading Please Quit Smoking!

Technically, Scott was never my Uber passenger, but I just had to write about him anyway. I’ve seen him six or seven times walking on Kempsville Road, not far from my house. Okay, walking isn’t exactly the word. It’s more like prancing. He bops to the music in his headphones. He wears sunglasses and waves flamboyantly… Continue reading Gays for Trump?

The social trend of this summer is definitely Pokemon Go. I hadn’t heard anything about it until I started to see groups of people wandering around desolate locations looking at their phones. I mean, people look at their phones all the time, but these folks were traveling in packs. It was weird. A passenger finally explained the… Continue reading Go, Pokemon Go!

This is my first post on a ride that never happened. I never even met Peter. We just texted. I was on my way when I got his first message. Peter: Currently discussing terms with a dealer. Might take an extra few minutes. I’m sorry. Me: How long do you think it will take? I… Continue reading A Thoughtful Drug User