Dogs Are Awesome

I always look forward to the interesting, out-of-the-ordinary type rides. They make the best stories. The people who bare their souls. The weirdos and oddballs. And the adventures that take me on drug buys and graveyards and illicit rendezvous. As they leave, passengers often say things like, “Hope you don’t drive any crazies tonight!” And I always reply, “I hope I do. Crazies make this job interesting!”

But most of my trips are uneventful ones in the company of nice people. We have short, friendly conversations. These everyday kind of rides can be really fun. They just don’t lend themselves to good blog posts.

But I had one of those last night that included one little snippet that made me laugh and might be worth sharing.

Bill and Nancy were a young couple coming home from a local pizza pub called Cogan’s. The husband was quiet and sleepy. The wife, however, was pleasantly chatty. We talked about the unusually cold weather.

“We’re going to get home, climb in our warm bed, and snuggle!” Nancy said.

“With Dum-dum.” Bill mumbled, eyes closed.

“Of course with Dum-dum!”

“I’m guessing Dum-dum is your dog?” I said.

“Yes, he’s our dog.”

“Cool. We let our dog sleep with us too.”

“What kind of dog do you have?” she asked.

I always chuckle when people ask this. Our dog is an adopted mutt, so we don’t know for sure, but our best guess is that she’s a mix of Shih-Tzu and poodle. That makes her a Shih-poo, but when you say it aloud, well, let’s just say it sounds like two synonyms for feces.

“She’s a Shih-poo.”

“A Shih-poo! That doesn’t even count. That’s such a little dog.”

“True. She only weighs six pounds. It’s why I don’t mind her sleeping in our bed. What kind of dog is Dum-dum?”

“He’s a Rottweiler. He weighs 90 pounds.”

“That’s a big dog to have in bed with you.”

Bill just grunted.

“Well, we have to for a while because he’s recovering from ACL surgery.”

“Your dog had ACL surgery?”

“Yeah, like a football player or something.”

“Your dog is like Carson Wentz.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. How did your dog tear his ACL?”

“Celebrating a poop.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, Dum-dum gets super-excited after he takes a dump in the back yard. Every time he runs inside and starts parkouring all over the house. Jumping on furniture, spinning in circles, running up and down the stairs. Last week he pooped and during his celebration, he jumped off the bed and made this kind of whimpering sound. He started limping after that, so we took him to the vet.”

“Your dog has a parkour injury. That’s pretty awesome.”

“I know, right? He’s the most awesome dog in the world.”

“It must be pretty great being a dog. Imagine being so excited about taking a poop that you had to run around all over the house to celebrate every time.”

“That’s true. Dogs are awesome.”

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