Umans of Uber

Vanessa was escorted from the bar to my vehicle by an imposing dude in a tight T-shirt who gestured to me to put down the window. “You make sure you get this young lady home safe, you hear me?” “Of course. That’s what I do.” “Just know that if I find out anything funny, I… Continue reading Splitsville

“How’s your night been?” I get that question a lot from friendly passengers. This time it was from Ken, an Old Dominion University student I’d picked up from Central 111 and was taking to his family home in Virginia Beach. “Good. Kind of boring though,” I said. “I mean, I’ve been pretty busy, and I’ve… Continue reading Walmart in the Wee Hours

Grace sat up front, something I always take as a sign of friendliness. But she just silently stared at her phone for a while. I had picked her up at the Block–a spot on Atlantic between 21st and 22nd street where four night clubs abut one another. It gets pretty wild there on weekends in the… Continue reading Lonely

Tips are rare for Uber drivers¹. Maybe one out of ten riders will toss me a buck or two. An extra dollar would be nice, but I’ve got used to it. And I’m genuinely appreciative when the rare passenger offers me a little something extra. That’s why I like aviators. I had an unusually hard… Continue reading Navy Pilots Are My Favorite

Dan and Helen are a young married couple I drove from one bar to another Sunday night. And they are the kind of people that make Ubering so much fun. “I put Knuckleheads as the destination,” Helen explained, “but it’s actually A.J. Gators.” “Yeah, she totally screwed it up,” Dan said facetiously. “I did not.… Continue reading 50-Year-Old Dad Jokes

Jack and Sheri were only in my car for a few minutes. I took them from the Virginia Beach Resort Hotel and Conference Center down the road to Pleasure House Brewing. But it was long enough to learn that Jack is an ordained minister. Sort of. “Pleasure House Brewing Company. Can I come too?” I… Continue reading Dudeism

As you can probably tell from my posts, I love driving for Uber. The great majority of my passengers are interesting, decent uman beings. To date, I have completed around 1,300 rides that ranged from uneventful to heartrending to hilarious. But I have always known that a horrendous ride was inevitable. Most Uber drivers have… Continue reading The Longest Ride

I could tell it was a bachelorette party the second I spotted them huddled in Rockafeller’s parking lot. They were all dressed and coiffed and bubbly with girls’-night-out gaiety. I’m not supposed to carry more passengers than I have seat belts, but I couldn’t bring myself to stifle their exuberance. They were only going a few miles to… Continue reading Cheering Up the Bride-to-Be

When I get the late night munchies, I sometimes hit an all-night drive-thru. I might grab some McDonald’s fries or a bean burrito from Taco Bell. One place I avoid, though, is 7-Eleven. Nothing looks less appetizing to me than hot dogs and taquitos spinning on rollers under heat lamps. Last night I took Allen and Tonya… Continue reading Um…Thanks

I was looking for an Irene, but a lean, black man in a black shirt was the only one waiting outside the restaurant. He hopped in, and I wondered if he just had an unusual name. “Are you Irene?” I asked. “No, that’s my mom. She got me the ride. Listen, we gonna go a… Continue reading Mommy’s Watching